User:RobertoBaggio

About Garden Soccer

What is Garden Soccer?

Garden Soccer is a new sport invented by Mike and Baz Akehurst and Mike Reid.

What do you need to play Garden Soccer?

Firstly, and most importantly, you need a Garden. Remember though, this is not to be called a garden, call this your 'GS pitch'. Once you have a pitch, you need a ball. Now, now, you don't need the latest ball from the best brand but an old ball. The ball must be as tatty as possible and must be soft to ensure that it won't hurt your feet. Next you need a bench. The bench will play the part of the goal. To make things easier, name the bench. The official Garden Soccer bench is called "Our Green Bench" and that name is copyrighted so make your own names up. Right, just one more thing you need now, three players. Any three players of do, so long as they are aged between two and eighty years old. Eighty is the retirement age, you see.

When was Garden Soccer Invented?

Garden Soccer was invented in June 2003.

Is Baz THAT bad?

Yes, he really is THAT bad

What are the Rules of Garden Soccer?

The rules of Garden Soccer might seem a little tricky at first but once you have a few games under you belt, you'll know the game like the back of your hand. To start with, one player must volunteer to go in net first. If nobody volunteers then you shouldn't really be playing if you're not willing to play in net (goal). If you can't decide though, flip a coin, draw straws, pick a card, anything. Once you have decided which player will go in net, the other two players stand 'outfield' and wait for the game to start. To start the game, the keeper either throws or kicks the ball. The aim of the game is for the outfield players to try and score goals. Whichever player scores three goals first is declared the winner of that game and he swaps roles with the goalkeeper and the next game can begin. To score a goal you must strike the ball against the seat of the bench, the back of the bench, or between the legs. If the ball hits the legs or the arms, then it's classed as 'hitting the post' and play carries on as normal. If the ball is kicked over the arm from the side, or deflects from behind the bench and lands on the seat, a goal is awarded to whichever player kicked it last. If one player takes a shot but it hits the other person and goes in then it is classed as 'deflector's goal' and whichever outfield player the ball touched last before going in is awarded the goal. A deflection can be as much as a follow-up volley or as little as grazing the hair on somebody's leg. A round of Garden Soccer is made up of three games. For each game, a different player goes in net. At the end of a round, every player will have had a turn in net.

Are there any restrictions in Garden Soccer?

Only the goalkeeper is allowed to touch the ball with his hands or arms. If an outfield player touches the ball with his or her hand/arm then a foul is given for 'handball'. If a challenge is deemed as aggressive then play carries on as normal, but if one player deliberately tries to hurt the over player with a rash or dangerous challenge, a foul is given. If the pitch is dry then the game must be played with socks on, no other footwear is permitted. However, if the grass is wet or it is snowy then you may wear trainers or shoes on your feet to protect them from the cold. If during play the ball is kicked over a fence then a goal is deducted from whoever kicked it over. If the player who kicked it over already had 0 goals, s/he then goes into a negative scoreline. If the ball goes over a fence but is pretty easy to get back then just one goal is deducted. However, if the ball goes over a fence and it involves a long walk and/or talking to a moody neighbour to get it back then two goals are deducted for the inconvenience caused. Please try and restrict the fences which deduct two goals as you might end up going too far into negative figures.

Are there any variations of Garden Soccer?

Yes. Of course there's good ol' Garden Soccer but it is weather permitting amongst many other things. Here are a few variations discovered by us for us and for you to copy. Firstly there is the most-played variation - Extreme Garden Soccer (shortened to XGS). Extreme Garden Soccer is to be played when the pitch is wet/muddy/snowy/unplayable in socks so you must wear some kind of footwear other than socks. Trainers are the most favoured replacement, although regular shoes may also work. Be warned though, if it's very muddy your trainers may get ruined. It's best to keep a pair of trainers specially for playing XGS. Once you have your trainers on, the rules are the same as regular GS (only with more slipping and sliding).

Another variation of Garden Soccer is Garden Soccer Version 2 which is for when you're feeling tired or just don't fancy a full game of GS. To play Garden Soccer version 2 one player goes in net (as always), one player stands somewhere near the goal and the other player stands either to the left or to the right of the goal. The player stood on the "wing" then must cross the ball in towards the other player but avoiding the keeper. The player who receives the ball must then attempt to header the ball into the goal. Scores aren't kept in this game. The players swap positions when they're bored or fancy a change. If your garden is small it's best that the keeper can't come and collect the cross and that he has to save the header at goal. Otherwise none of the crosses would reach the other player and it would be no fun.

The next variation is Retarded Garden Soccer. Please, don't take offence to this name as it's just a name. If you do take offence, stop reading this section and go look somewhere else, you big softy. Retarded Garden Soccer can be played in trainers or socks so whether the pitch is in XGS conditions decides what to wear. Retarded Garden Soccer is just like regular GS (or XGS if the weather's bad) only the bench/goal is placed in a new position. For us, the bench was placed next to the washing line (check the pictures to see where that is). Putting the bench here made the pitch much wider but not very long. Retarded Garden Soccer is rarely played. It made a short comeback when the decking was placed as we didn't think there'd be any room for the bench anymore. This time we put the bench against the corner of the new shed. However, we soon realised how dull Retarded Garden Soccer and we tried putting the bench back in it's original place (only slightly to the right so it wasn't on the decking) and it worked well. We now try to stay away from Retarded Garden Soccer as it just doesn't feel right.

When was Garden Soccer first mentioned?

On The Dugout Messageboard. Look here. You must be registered in order to post a reply. If you do register and post, please let us know that you found it through this site.

Is there anything else I need to know about Garden Soccer?

If you want to know something that you cannot find on the site, please go to the Garden Soccer Forums and ask. If we feel some useful information is brought up, it will be added to the site. You must be registered in order to post.